The Heart of Me

I have been put down, I have been messed with and torn, I have been shattered and broken. I have been left like that for many years now. And nobody has been able to help me because half of me is missing. It always will be missing. I will never be a whole person. A lot of people don't know what it's like being abandend. But for those of you that have been then you know what I mean. I will never really find out who I really am because half of me is missing. And it's been missing for a little over 16 years now. Without the other half of me, how am I suppose to really know who I am? Or who I could become when I grow up, Or what I'm even capable of anymore? Bottom line is........... My whole life it's been a constant war in my heart and my soul. Trying to find out who I am on my own because a lot of people don't understand me. But when you've been abandend it's not something you can just put a band-aid on. It scares you for life. And that's the way it will stay. That mark will always be there to prove that you survived it. You will not be able to see it but it's there. Some people wear it proudly and others still don't know. Just like me. But one day I will find out. And when I do everyone will see that I could do it. Even if I only know who half of me is. I look at it as I have half of the map already and now it's my turn to finish what I've started, but this time do it my way and no one elses.

My BFF's For Life

I have a BFF who understands me. They also get who I am. They understand the pain that I go through. They are there to support me when I need them. I love them all. They are the best friends that anyone could ask for. I'm blessed with them and I thank god everyday for them. They are not only my bff's, but they are like family to me. They mean that much to me. And I know that I mean the same thing to them. To all my BFF's you all know who you are!!! Luv you all! <3

Half Alive

I've learned how to live half alive for many different reasons. Half my heart is missing because each break up or each person that I'm close to, they leave me. I'm not a whole person. Half of where my heart should be there is nothing but emptiness, darkness. Because the person that you loved the most took you for everything you got. I'm not human and I'm not a monster. I'm simply someone of the past who is half alive. The only way I survive is by support. I get support by other people. If it wasn't for those people I would not be here right now. All those people fill the other half of my heart to make it a whole. But they only do it for a little while, and then the emptiness and the darkness consumes me. I'm only half alive but I'm still standing. And I'm gonna live half alive for a long time.

11/11/11

Today is a day to remember. Today is the day where we devote our love and time to all those who have fallen for our beautiful country. We would not have our country today if it wasn't for those who were brave enough to fight. The people that fought gave up everything. Families, children, etc. They gave it all up because they knew that if they didn't there would not be a home for them pretty soon. Today we should all be thankful for what we have, because they are the reason why we are all here today. We would not be here if they had not sacraficed so much. You all should devote a moment of silence and love towards those who have fallen to protect you and millions of others in battle for our country. I don't know about you, but this country would not even exisit if it was not for them. Think about it.

My Fairytale

Everybody has a Fairytale. Whether it's good or bad. Girls want the night in shining armor and the noble white horse to carry them to the castle. I want neither. I beileve in the power of friendship and in love and that will save you. I'm not going to wait around for some prince. I'm going to save myself. Not only from the problem I'm facing but I'm also saving my self from a heart ache later. You see not ever Fairytale has a happy ending. And mine didn't. I use to be the princess who always got swept off her feet. Until one day another princess shouted in distress and my prince left me. So you see Fairytales aren't the best of things to think your life as. Because almost everyending has a heartbreak. And very rarely does it have a happy ending. So don't waste your time.

Stuck

Friendships can be easy and friendships can be hard, but when you're stuck in the middle it hurts you bad. You want to be with both friends and do whatever you can to help, but they refuse. I don't know if it's because they're scared or they're just too upset. But it matters to you because you're stuck in the middle. You want to hang out with this friend but the other friend doesn't like it. You want to hang out with the other friend, but this friend doesn't like it. When you are almost torn to choose between two people it hurts. But I don't see it that way. I don't choose between friends. I keep them both. I could never loose my friends. I help them when they need me, I love talking and having fun with them. Yeah we might have our ups and downs but we get through and we're fine again. Just because you've hit a rough bump in your friendship doesn't mean the friendship is over. And it doesn't mean that you stop caring. It means that when you get through this bump in your friendship it will only make you stronger and bring you guys closer togather. But it will take time, and work, and paticence, and you have to be commited. Whether your friend chooses to meet you half way that's their choice. But don't give up until you try and I don't mean try once or twice. Try your hardest. Put your heart and soul into it. Then you will see if your friendship is really ment to be.