Unique?? Or Is There More??

When you look at me what do you see?
Most people say brown hair, hazel or gold eyes, etc.
But did you ever wonder what the person with the gold eyes sees??
Some people have the gift of being able to help other people, and they
just have that certain charm that cheers people up almost instently.

Some people think of it as a bad thing, but I know that it's a good thing.
Because most people don't really know how strong they are.
Especially on the inside. I figured that out on my own.
And I didn't think that i had the faith or the strength to do that.
And now I'm stronger then I could have ever imagined.
Because I found something that keeps me going no matter what.
I set goals for myself and I try to take one step at a time.

I don't know how to explain it but some people can sometimes see the real
person that's deep down inside. Like when that person says they're fine, the person that can
really see them knows differently, so why lie about it??
I happen to fall under that catagory or at least that's what my friends and family say.
I choose to help people because it's the right thing to do, and as a bonus
it just happens to be something I enjoy doing. :)

My friends and family are my support system. And my friends are like family to me.
Every single one of them are unique and important and special in their own way.
And my heart that is filled with kindness, love, peace, happiness, etc, my heart goes out to each and every one of them. Because that's just what I do. :)

Those of you who I mean in friends and family know who you are when you read this. Just want to let you guys know that I love ya all!!! And that you guys are the reason why and how I got this far...and for that I'm truly greatful! :) <3

You Will Always Have A Place In My Heart

When I feel that I'm in need of comfort,
there is only one person I look to
that person is always and will be there for me,
through think and thin, for life.
Ever since we met it feels like
we've known each other for years
intead of months.

This person is what keeps me going at times.
They give me strength, and faith to keep believing that
things are going to be ok. And some great advise that I will share now because
it's true.

"We never know why bad things happen to good people, but God chooses the strongest people to go through it all."

I will always remember that piece of advice.
Just as I will always remember that person.
Because that person means the world to me.
And has helped me through everything.
I don't know what I'd do without them.
I always have asked myself
"What did I do to deserve a friend like that person??"
And I thank god everday, because that person puts
up with me. lol. Flaws and all included.
I may be a strong person, but if there's anyone who's strong.
It's that person. No doubt in my mind at all.
They are wise, and they speak the truth.
And the truth that they speak comes from their heart.
And from that person's heart they give strength and faith
I lost my strength and my faith, and that person
helped me get it back when I needed it the most.
And for that I am truely greatful, and always will be.

That person knows who they are. And that person is truly a blessing to this world.
Because with out that person I don't even know if the world would be the same without them.

The Soul of Friendship

Friends can be hard to find, but once you do, you will never forget them. They become a part of your life. And when that happens it's like your souls become one. You both live off one soul. So when one is hurting the other can feel it to. But it's up to them if they want to do something about it. But the both of you will know how you both are feeling. Even if it's the smallest thing that frustrates you or makes you sad, you both will have to work it out. You both will have to come to and agreement. Because a friendship is not worth ending over something small and maybe even pointless. Friendships are the best thing in the world to have. There are some people out there who have no friends or don't even know the meaning of the word friend. So I don't know about you, but I consider myself lucky to have such great friends like I do. And my friends after a while become like family to me. Like brother and sisters to me. And yeah we may have our ups and downs. But I know that I would be willing to work them out. And I'm sure my friends would be willing to. I don't believe in giving up on friendships. And I never will. That's just who I am. Especially if you've been friends with them for a really long time. Then you definetly might want to think about your desison carefully. But no matter how mad or sad you may be. Don't listen to your head or other people. Listen to your heart. Your heart will know the true answer. So just look within yourself and you will find your answer sooner or later. Your heart will always lead you in the right direction.

Do you really know me??

Do you really know who I am?
Do you know that I have scars,
that are not visible to the human eye?
Do you know that I've been hurt time and time again?
Do you know that when I smile at you it's just to hide the true pain on the inside?
Do you know that when I'm with you, you make me feel alright for once in my life?
Do you know that I can't hold myself togather much longer?
Do you know that I opened up and let you in?
Did you know that I use to be real strong and stand real tall?
Did you know that I can't sleep at night and that's why I'm up all the time?
Did you know that I'm torn to pieces?


Now all that's left of me is what I pretend to be.
Sewn togather but so broken up inside.

But I do know this. You will never get to see the tears that I cry.

Who Am I? Really?

I wish there was another time. I wish there was another place. Where I can just go alone to get away from all this pain. I’ve carried this pain for years and years. And it just refuses to disappear. People think that I’m fine when I’m not. All they insist on seeing is a bright, happy, cheerful, intelligent girl. They may see me on the outside like that. But they will never understand the inside. For almost 17 years it’s been nothing but a constant war inside me. Between who I am and who I want to be. People think that I’m understanding and too nice. But the thing is, is that people don’t know who I really am. I don’t even know who I really am. And it’s frustrating. The only thing that I know is that I’m a girl who’s been hurt, torn and scarred. I’ve lived half my life not knowing who I am. And it’s been hard. Yeah I may have great friends. The best ones that I could ever ask for. But they don’t even know the whole story. And if I told them some of the stuff that happened. They wouldn’t believe me. They would have to be there in that moment in time to actually see it with their own eyes to believe it. In my life I have experienced death, and loss, and pain. In this world I have never felt any weaker, but also I’ve never felt  stronger.  Because I know that some how, some way this world has made room for me. And now it’s my turn to find out just what that is. To find who I really am. . The real me. And I won’t stop until I do find her. I’ve been searching to hard and to long to give up now. I will find her. I will find who I really am inside. I will find myself once again. And this time I will not lose her.

These Scars

I may not see them but they're there. And you will never understand why. You came into my life and made me feel like myself again. I felt whole when you were with me. And then you had to leave. You left because you thought it was best. But you thought I was strong. And you left me on my own. But here I stand with these scars bleeding out. And no one can help me heal but you. You refuse to come back because you know it's true. That half of these scars are because of you. And I still remember how you smelled, and how you use to kiss me at night. And how you use to make me feel alright. But without you I'm just a girl who's scars are going to bleed forever. You are the only one who can take this pain away. And until you do. I'll be waiting. Here until you come or until god says it's my time to go. Because I will never love another like I loved you.

The Heart of Me

I have been put down, I have been messed with and torn, I have been shattered and broken. I have been left like that for many years now. And nobody has been able to help me because half of me is missing. It always will be missing. I will never be a whole person. A lot of people don't know what it's like being abandend. But for those of you that have been then you know what I mean. I will never really find out who I really am because half of me is missing. And it's been missing for a little over 16 years now. Without the other half of me, how am I suppose to really know who I am? Or who I could become when I grow up, Or what I'm even capable of anymore? Bottom line is........... My whole life it's been a constant war in my heart and my soul. Trying to find out who I am on my own because a lot of people don't understand me. But when you've been abandend it's not something you can just put a band-aid on. It scares you for life. And that's the way it will stay. That mark will always be there to prove that you survived it. You will not be able to see it but it's there. Some people wear it proudly and others still don't know. Just like me. But one day I will find out. And when I do everyone will see that I could do it. Even if I only know who half of me is. I look at it as I have half of the map already and now it's my turn to finish what I've started, but this time do it my way and no one elses.