The Soul of Friendship

Friends can be hard to find, but once you do, you will never forget them. They become a part of your life. And when that happens it's like your souls become one. You both live off one soul. So when one is hurting the other can feel it to. But it's up to them if they want to do something about it. But the both of you will know how you both are feeling. Even if it's the smallest thing that frustrates you or makes you sad, you both will have to work it out. You both will have to come to and agreement. Because a friendship is not worth ending over something small and maybe even pointless. Friendships are the best thing in the world to have. There are some people out there who have no friends or don't even know the meaning of the word friend. So I don't know about you, but I consider myself lucky to have such great friends like I do. And my friends after a while become like family to me. Like brother and sisters to me. And yeah we may have our ups and downs. But I know that I would be willing to work them out. And I'm sure my friends would be willing to. I don't believe in giving up on friendships. And I never will. That's just who I am. Especially if you've been friends with them for a really long time. Then you definetly might want to think about your desison carefully. But no matter how mad or sad you may be. Don't listen to your head or other people. Listen to your heart. Your heart will know the true answer. So just look within yourself and you will find your answer sooner or later. Your heart will always lead you in the right direction.

Do you really know me??

Do you really know who I am?
Do you know that I have scars,
that are not visible to the human eye?
Do you know that I've been hurt time and time again?
Do you know that when I smile at you it's just to hide the true pain on the inside?
Do you know that when I'm with you, you make me feel alright for once in my life?
Do you know that I can't hold myself togather much longer?
Do you know that I opened up and let you in?
Did you know that I use to be real strong and stand real tall?
Did you know that I can't sleep at night and that's why I'm up all the time?
Did you know that I'm torn to pieces?


Now all that's left of me is what I pretend to be.
Sewn togather but so broken up inside.

But I do know this. You will never get to see the tears that I cry.

Who Am I? Really?

I wish there was another time. I wish there was another place. Where I can just go alone to get away from all this pain. I’ve carried this pain for years and years. And it just refuses to disappear. People think that I’m fine when I’m not. All they insist on seeing is a bright, happy, cheerful, intelligent girl. They may see me on the outside like that. But they will never understand the inside. For almost 17 years it’s been nothing but a constant war inside me. Between who I am and who I want to be. People think that I’m understanding and too nice. But the thing is, is that people don’t know who I really am. I don’t even know who I really am. And it’s frustrating. The only thing that I know is that I’m a girl who’s been hurt, torn and scarred. I’ve lived half my life not knowing who I am. And it’s been hard. Yeah I may have great friends. The best ones that I could ever ask for. But they don’t even know the whole story. And if I told them some of the stuff that happened. They wouldn’t believe me. They would have to be there in that moment in time to actually see it with their own eyes to believe it. In my life I have experienced death, and loss, and pain. In this world I have never felt any weaker, but also I’ve never felt  stronger.  Because I know that some how, some way this world has made room for me. And now it’s my turn to find out just what that is. To find who I really am. . The real me. And I won’t stop until I do find her. I’ve been searching to hard and to long to give up now. I will find her. I will find who I really am inside. I will find myself once again. And this time I will not lose her.

These Scars

I may not see them but they're there. And you will never understand why. You came into my life and made me feel like myself again. I felt whole when you were with me. And then you had to leave. You left because you thought it was best. But you thought I was strong. And you left me on my own. But here I stand with these scars bleeding out. And no one can help me heal but you. You refuse to come back because you know it's true. That half of these scars are because of you. And I still remember how you smelled, and how you use to kiss me at night. And how you use to make me feel alright. But without you I'm just a girl who's scars are going to bleed forever. You are the only one who can take this pain away. And until you do. I'll be waiting. Here until you come or until god says it's my time to go. Because I will never love another like I loved you.